Say what one may about Romita’s artwork, but damn if he doesn’t draw the cutest little feet on the Beyonder the last issue? Does Secret Wars II really boil down to penis envy?

Similarly, even with Claremont’s awful writing–he really thought he needed to explain Cerebro to readers in an endless expository thought balloon–he does pack the issue. It’s a chore to get through it, because it’s so lame, but it’s a packed issue. Lots of thoughts, lots of action, lots of dialogue. Though I don’t know where Nightcrawler went. He wasn’t in the big battle scene.

The more I read Secret Wars II and its endless tie-in issues, the more it’s clear what dumb ideas Shooter had for it. Seriously, they could have left the Beyonder alone–he doesn’t really do anything this issue to provoke an attack from the “heroes”–they’ve decided to preemptively strike.

Related posts:

1. The Amazing Spider-Man 273 (February 1986)
2. The New Mutants 36 (February 1986)
3. Secret Wars II 7 (January 1986)

I thought this issue was going to be a mystery, but it’s not. It doesn’t even have the pretense of one, except for Professor X asking the X-Men to investigate something. It’s too bad, since it might have been a better comic book with that approach.

It’s an X-Men book so I can identify the more popular ones, but when it comes to all the girls, I’m lost. What’s the difference between Kitty Pryde, Rogue and Rachel Summers? How do people keep up with this stuff? And do X-Men readers make fun of soap opera fanatics; they really shouldn’t.

Claremont packs the issue, which is impressive, I suppose, and desirable for its audience. I just couldn’t wait for the damn comic to end.

The artwork is incredibly loose and uninteresting.

The Secret Wars tie-in is all red skies.

I don’t get X-Men comics at all.

Related posts:

1. The New Mutants 30 (August 1985)
2. Secret Wars II 2 (August 1985)
3. Dazzler 40 (November 1985)